A Match Made in Hell
by Luciana Costa
Summary: Sheelos, one-sided. "You never learn, do you?" "Shee Shee, learning is overrated. Just take life as it comes, or else it's not half as fun."


"How's my little hunny

"How's my little hunny?"  
The crooked man grins his crooked grin.  
"Oh, g-good morning Chosen!"  
She's already besotted with him, it's easy to tell by the blush on her face. Not the first, most definitely not the last.  
"You're looking particularly beautiful this morning."  
I personally don't see the appeal in that man.  
"Th-thank you, Chosen, you're looking very g-good as well!"  
They say he's good-looking, and I guess you could say that, if men that look like women are considered good-looking these days.  
"Why thank you, my beloved."  
They say he's got a smooth tongue, and I guess you could say that, if lying, deceitful men are considered smooth-tongued these days.  
"Ch-chosen..."  
They say he's got a way with the ladies.  
"Call me Zelos."  
I'll give him that one.  
"Zelos, let's get out of this godforsaken place already." I sigh. "I'm getting nauseous watching you toy with that poor girl."  
She looks up, startled, as if my existence is a new development to her, even though I'd spent absurd amounts of money at her shop just hours earlier.  
"Aw, Shee Shee... I was just having a little fun!"  
I grit my teeth at the nickname he's taken to calling me. I'd prefer even Banshee to this one.  
My anger is relieved slightly by the frail girl's apalled expression. She must be stupid, or maybe being cooped up in a tiny village all your life does things to your brain.  
"You.. you..." She works her jaw, but no words come.  
"Sorry, hunny, I gotta go. It was fun talking to you, if we ever come back here, I'll be sure to pop in and say hi."  
"B-but-"  
"You didn't think he was serious, did you?" I say, raising an eyebrow. "You poor, poor girl."  
I drop a few extra gald on the counter and walk out the door after Zelos.  
"Ah... it's the small towns like Ozette that have the cutest girls," he chuckles, grinning impishly.  
"You're despicable."  
"And you're beautiful. I think we've had this conversation before, hunny."  
"I know we have. But you don't seem to get it, even after the hundredth time."  
"Get what?"  
"Idiot Chosen."  
"Part of my charm, Shee Shee."  
Urgh.  
"Don't you even get it, Zelos?"  
"Uh... no?"  
"It's not okay to toy around with women like that! That girl believed you, she hung on to your every word like it was scripture!"  
"I know, isn't it great?"  
"No, it is not great! Augh!"  
It's no use talking to this guy. I stomp off in no particular direction, fuming. I don't care where I'm going. All I want is to get as far away from him as possible. Before I know it I'm deep in some goddamned forest again, except this time I'm alone.  
"Sheena..."  
So much for that sentiment. The Chosen's whining voice breaks through my reverie like a knife.  
"I despise you," I hiss through clenched teeth.  
He's standing several feet away from me, but it feels like he's right next to me, breathing down my neck, or someplace else I'd rather not think about. It's always like that with him. He's practically got an aura around his pretty little self. It's things like that that make me want to mar that flawless skin, break those deceitfully fragile-looking bones, wipe the perfect grin that's charmed many a woman off his face for good.  
That's when I realize that he really is that close, and it takes all my willpower not to punch him all the way into Sylvarant then and there.  
"Heh, love you too, hunny," he breathes in a voice that would have most women wrapped around his pinky in seconds.  
"I don't—"  
He cuts me off with his lips in what I'm sure he thinks is an irresistible gesture. I really don't see it that way. I'm torn between wanting to bite off his tongue or knee him where it hurts the most.  
"Arrggh! Sh-Sheenaaaa!" He doubles over in pain, breath coming in harsh gasps.  
I didn't want his filthy noble blood in my mouth.  
"Don't even try, Zelos. You knew it was coming."  
"Th-that really hurt, Sheena!"  
Idiot.  
"That was kind of the point."  
He pouts in that melodramatic way of his.  
"It wasn't very nice."  
"Maybe you've learned your lesson."  
"Never."  
He's got that playful glint back in his eyes, that mischievous grin dancing across his lips. He recovers pretty fast. He's probably had experience in this type of injury before.  
"Let's just get back to Ozette before the others start getting the wrong idea about where we've disappeared to."  
"It can still be the right idea, you know."  
"In your dreams, Chosen."  
"Hehe, I know, I know."  
Apparently he doesn't know, because he casually drapes an arm over my shoulder as we make our way back into town.  
"You never learn, do you?"  
"Shee Shee, learning is overrated. Just take life as it comes, or else it's not half as fun."  
"Zelos, idiocy is overrated."  
I know it's a stupid counter, but I'm getting tired of this banter, and all I want is the company of other women, or at least, more mature men.  
"You'll never know until you try it. I'd be all too happy to help."  
"No thanks."  
Spontaneous as ever, he kisses me again, because my reaction was so positive last time. I have to admit, he's good at it, but this is Zelos. He's got years of experience under his belt, no pun intended. I'd like to knee him again, but I guess he really has learned his lesson this time. He pulls away from me and flashes his trademark grin.  
"Just so you know," I growl, "This is not helping my opinion of you at all."  
"Don't lie, you're warming up to me. I can tell."  
"I'd never fall for a guy like you."  
"That doesn't mean a guy like me wouldn't fall for a pretty lady like you."  
"You need to stop being such a philanderer."  
"You need to stop being such a virgin."  
My fist connects with his jaw perfectly, as if it's meant to fit there. I guess it must be true, then. We're a match made in hell. But a perfect one at that.


End file.
